Broken
by missamy-lm
Summary: Written as a late night 'aaah i'm coming down from a sugar high' challenge on the weekend. BA angst romance... grab the kleenex...


A/N: Written as a 'late night coming off a sugar high' challenge from SecretPhoenix678 (after we threatened and mumbled about who was better, West Coast Eagles or Brisbane Lions... then Wallabies and All Blacks (all blacks for life!)), and I threatened to kill Alex in 'Forever' (won't do it... I promise) but then we challenged each other to try and make the other one cry... I won :)... and here is my resulting fic... hope you like it

Disclaimer: The lyrics are from 'Broken' - Seether ft. Amy Lee... I only own Jamie and Bobby (not Bobby, Bobby... ah you'll understand when you get there!)

* * *

'Seeing our baby... it was...'

'Amazing?' Alex asked, her fingers entwined with her husbands. Bobby smiled down at her and wrapped an arm around her waist, protecting her from the cold. They had a late night OBGYN appointment, as they both had to work all day. And seeing as Alex was sick of driving everywhere, they decided to walk.

'Yeah... our little baby...' Bobby whispered in awe, placing his other hand on her swollen belly, and pressing a kiss to her temple. It's funny how things can change in an instant. All of a sudden, Bobby was on the pavement, clutching his chest, blood pouring out of a wound.

'Bobby!' Alex screamed, falling next to him. She frantically scanned the area around them, and her eyes widened in fear as she saw Nicole Wallace approaching, gun in her hand and a smile on her face.

'If I can't have him, Alex... no one can... Oh and congratulations on the baby.' She said calmly before walking away. Bobby's eyes opened slowly and he touched Alex's belly, stroking it gently.

'Hey... it's gonna be okay... call 911...' He whispered to her and she obeyed, dialling for an ambulance and keeping pressure on his wound. 'I love you... I love both of you... and if I don't make it... I want you to make sure our baby knows how much its daddy loves it...'

'Don't talk like that, Bobby!' She sobbed, and he reached up to her face and wiped her tears away.

'Angel, please promise me...'

'I... I promise you, Bobby...' The ambulance arrived, and they carefully loaded him into the back, Alex not leaving his side for a second. 'I love you so much... you can't leave me...' She whispered shakily, gripping onto his hand.

'I love you too, Ally... always have and always will...' His eyes shut.

'No! Bobby, wake up! WAKE UP!' She screamed, sobbing into his shoulder. She heard a sharp intake of breath and his lips against her hair.

'It's okay, sweetie... I haven't gone anywhere...' He whispered to her, trying to keep her calm. Suddenly she screamed in pain, and the sound of water splashing filled the ambulance. She looked down and her jeans were soaked.

'Shit...' She whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

* * *

'Mrs Goren, the twins are fine... A boy and a girl...' The nurse said, handing Alex her babies.

'The boy... Robert Joshua, and the girl, Jamie Alexandra.' Alex said shakily, trying to smile. The nurse nodded and left Alex and the babies alone. Bobby's doctor came into the room, looking solemn.

'Alex... you have to come and see him... Now...' He said, and she nodded, carefully getting into a wheelchair, still clutching onto the twins.

'Heya beautiful...' Bobby choked as she entered the room. She smiled weakly before breaking down in tears. 'We... we have twins?' He asked, and she nodded, placing them on his chest.

'Bobby and Jamie...' She whispered, stroking his hair. He smiled, before coughing in pain.

'Ally... I'm gonna die...' He said, and she started to cry. 'No, baby... please don't cry... we... we both knew this day would come...'

'You can't let her win! You can't leave me!' She cried, resting her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes in thought, before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

'I'm not letting her win, baby... I promise you I'm not ever gonna let her win... But you have to stay strong okay? Promise me you won't cry...'

'I can't promise you that...'

'Then at least promise me that the twins will always know who I am and how much I love them...'

'I can promise you that... They'll always know what an amazing guy there daddy is...' She sobbed, looking at her babies. Their daughter was a spitting image of her... their son... a mini-Bobby.

'I love you...'

'I love you too...' At least he died knowing how much she loved him.

* * *

'Robert Goren was a brilliant detective, a caring husband and a lovnig father. He will be sorely missed.' Jimmy Deakins said, keeping a close eye on Alex and the twins. 'I know that he will be looking down on his wife and children, and will be doing his best to protect him.' Alex knew it was her turn. She handed the twins to Carolyn and Mike, and stood up, walking over to the podium, trying her best to ignore her husbands corpse.

'Bobby is, and always will be, the most amazing man I have ever met... A gentle giant...' Tears were rolling down her face, but she wanted everyone to know how sweet and caring her Bobby was. 'He.. the first time I met him, I was a bit scared... but over the years I grew to love him... more and more... even now I will never stop loving him... He... I remember when he proposed to me... He was so nervous... and when I said yes... I could see that for the first time in the seven years I'd known him, he was actually happy. That happiness grew when I found out I was pregnant... the first ultrasound he cried... He was so excited that he was gonna be a daddy... The... the night he died... he told me how much he loved our babies... how much he loved me... and that he was never gonna stop loving us...' She turned around and pressed a kiss to his forehead, and then one to his lips. 'I love you so much, Bobby...'

* * *

15 years later

'Fuck off, Bobby!' Jamie screamed at her brother, slamming the bathroom door in his face. Bobby sighed and flung himself on the couch, earning a glare from his mother, who had only just walked in the front door.

'What'd you do this time?' She asked, setting the groceries down.

'Just told her what an ass her boyfriend is...' Bobby said casually.

'Boyfriend?'

'OH YOU DICKHEAD!' Jamie screeched, and came out of the bathroom, and wrapped an arm around her brothers throat. 'I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL HER!'

'I didn't!'

'YOU DID!'

'BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!' Alex yelled, slamming her hand on the table. Both of them looked up at their mother and saw the tears in her eyes. 'I can't handle this right now, okay? Jamie, Bobby... your birthday presents are in the den.' She walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind her.

'Good one, Einstein...' Jamie spat at her brother.

'I wonder why she never spends our birthday with us... I mean not that I care...' Alex lay on the bed sobbing, then she looked up, and pulled a box out of the drawer. Pulling out a creased photo, she smiled weakly as she looked at her and Bobby, his giant hands covering her giant belly, three days before their angels were born. They both had massive grins on their faces. Alex pulled out the next one... Their wedding photo... Not the official one... the one that her father had taken... She was in Bobby's arms, Carolyn enveloped in Mike's arms, both of the girls holding cruisers in their hands. Alex smiled at that memory. Took them two hours at the reception to get pissed drunk. Next photo... their honeymoon... They were laying on the beach, Alex laying in Bobby's arms, as he kissed the top of her head. Them at the Policemens Ball, both smiling as Alex showed off her sparkling engagement ring. Enough... She threw the box at the door and started to cry even harder, alerting the twins that something was wrong.

'Mum?' Jamie asked quietly, walking into her mothers bedroom, her brother following her. Alex looked up, tears in her eyes. She brushed her blonde locks away from her face and smiled weakly at her kids.

'Hey my babies... C'mere...' She whispered, pulling them into her arms.

'Mum... why do you always avoid us on our birthday?' Bobby asked, and Alex felt the tears spilling down her face.

'I... I'm sorry, angels... today is just a very emotional day that I'd rather forget... not the part about my beautiful kids being born...' Jamie and Bobby both stared at her and she smiled weakly. 'You know how you keep asking about your dad... but I keep changing the subject?' They both nodded. 'He... he died on your birthday...' Gasp. 'Yeah... I know...'

'Can we see a photo?' Jamie asked, and Alex nodded, walking over to the box and picking out a few.

'Your dad... Bobby Goren...' Bobby stared at her.

'You named me after my dad?' He asked her. She nodded.

'Yeah.. I... i was happy that he at least got to hold his babies... he held all three of us as he died...' Tears spilled down her cheeks. They both hugged her.

'My god, Bobby... you look exactly like him..' Jamie said, comparing the photo to her brother. Bobby smiled and kissed his mothers forehead.

'I love you both so much...' Alex whispered, hugging her kids tightly.

* * *

'Hey honey... I... sorry I haven't been to see you in a while... Our babies are fifteen today... fifteen... wow... I... I miss you so much... Why... why'd you have to leave us? Bobby looks exactly like his father... more and more like you every day... he even acts like you... Our little Jamie... she... she got her first boyfriend... everyone says shes exactly like me... Which is true... Same blonde hair... same hazel eyes... same Irish temper... They miss you as well...' Tears spilled down her cheeks. She lay a bunch of flowers on the grave, before kissing the plaque gently. 'I love you...' She stood up and left.

'Love you too, my angel...' Bobby whispered as he looked down on his wife...

* * *

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away  
You don't feel me here anymore


End file.
